| .. Mrow... |
[28 Feb 2004|12:22am] |
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music |
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Gravitation - Shining collection |
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Yo qreo que soy enfermo con amor..
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[19 Feb 2004|11:44am] |
Okay.. I tried already to post, and somehow it got deleted in the middle. Just poof, disappeared. Anyway, I'll try again.. I'm doing this for you Seph, since you want me to update more. n.n Well, let me start in general before my days.. I'll just sum up the week. School has been fine.. even though I've been sick for the past two weeks and have been missing random days of school. I didn't make the play, so I auditioned for tech support instead. My Drawing and Painting teacher hates me.. I think she's intimidated by someone who can actually draw a circle! I mean that lady.. hands me detentions for nothing. And we have this sketchbook thingie, where we sketch anything we want for the first 15 minutes of class, and she comes to look at it once a week. She goes by everyone's desk, and comments for a few minutes, but me, she just says "Interesting" and walks away. How rude. Anyway.. Biology is still boring, I've been sleeping in it, and my other classes are fine, because I have Matt in them. n.n Matt is funny and cute.. I like him. But Brian sure didn't take that well. If he wants to be with me, he should tell me, instead of getting jealous of other guys. We were talking, and the subject of Matt came up, and so he asked, who I liked better. Who I'd rather be with, etc. Him, or Matt. I said Matt (even though it was a lie) and wow.. he didn't like that. All he said was "Ouch" but I know whenever he says that, it means something hurts inside him. I told him later I was just joking, and I really did prefer him, but I'm not sure if he believed me. I wonder if he really does want back or not. Some part of me wants it, some part doesn't. I wonder if I'd really go through all that again.
Well now, my weekend..
Saturday, Valentine's Day. I woke up, went online a while.. talked to Gina and Seph, and to sum it up, it went well at first, then turned kinda bad. Gina might have thought I was a threat.. but I'm not really. Me and Seph are good friends, and although they are close, and may love each other, no one has any idea if it'll last forever. But friendship is different. I do wish them luck, and I support them more than they think. I want them to be happy, and I know Gina wants me happy too, even if she gets peeved at me sometimes. But for Gina's sake: I'm madly in love with Brian still, so don't worry. n.n After that, I went to Sawgrass with Victor and Michi and Brian. I got everyone a card and a flower.. it fit so perfectly. Victor's was in Spanish, and I just picked a random one I couldn't read, and it turned out it was something something Esposa, which is "For my Darling Wife.." And it was all mushy and stuff. xD And for Michi, I got her one for Grandma, and told her they ran out of other cards. Brian's was some sentimiental thingie, saying someday we'll be together yada yada.. then I wrote some weird stuff inside about telephones and Britney Spears and Vikki added a picture of me and him walking on the beach (stick figure style) so it was a funny card too. Brian brought me a rose which was really sweet since I don't get things like that often. Then we hung around a while and these two little punk girls walked up to us, saying we would be their new friends. It was fine until the younger one started getting annoying. For one, she kept lifting up her shirt and showing her huge stomach and bright red stretch marks. Ew. For two, she kept wondering when we could go to HotTopic. Poseur. For three, she grabbed my bare wrist and arm and told me it was "So cool" and other things. She was staring at old scars (I guess I have a lot from last year..) and then she showed off her own, which where little amatuer scratches, probably made with a nail file that morning. Disturbing. So eventually they left and never came back.. (finally). So we went to see a movie. The Perfect Score again. I thought that theatre sucked.. you couldn't move the arm rests up, and get comfortable with the person beside you. So eventually, me and Brian moved to the floor instead. Then, we told Michi and Vikki we'd be back, getting a drink about halfway through the movie. We didn't come back. But when they finally found us, I'm sure it looked wrong.. I was wiping crumbs off my mouth, and Brian was fixing his pants. they bugged us about it all night! C'mon.. would Rhia do that? We had actually just gotten some cookies (which later Vikki said was even worse. Buying cookies and not sharing them!) and had just walked around together talking. So, we hung out for a few more hours, waiting for my father. I was going to Victor's house the spend the night, and Brian wanted to come too, but he couldn't.. so he went to Michi's! I didn't like that at all.. but I guess I'll have to trust nothing happened. Well, before my father picked us all up, we were hanging around and we had this empty cup. So Brian put it in his pants to make it look like a boner.. (hey it looked real) and we walked around in front of these ghetto black people (scary) and then I started playing with it, making this whole scene, and eventually they guys were like "Put that shit down man". It was hilarious. I kissed Brian a few times after that.. but I don't think it meant anything to him. Even though he did come back for one of them after I pulled away. Sigh, wishful thinking we'd get back together. Anyway, then we left Brian and Michi at her house, kissed Brian again, then got my stuff and went to Victor's house. Send a threatening text message to Michi, then we watched somestuff, ate, talked, then slept.
Sunday...
Me and Vikki decided we wanted to go to the Culture Room, this place in Ft. Lauderdale where local bands play, so we called up Eva invited her (hey she has money and she's at home so she could clean up for me while my father was at work). Also Bryan was being a real ass to her lately, so he deserves a little ass kicking soon. So she said she'd love to come, and then we called Brian and asked if he wanted to come, which he did. (He was home now). I called my father and asked him if he could take us, since it was like a 30 minute drive.. and he said he would, after he got home around 4, took the family (minus me) to IHOP, then worked out. That was cool with me. So me and Vikki spent a while watching tv, getting ready, picking out perfect outfits so we might find the man of our dreams, showered, you know.. girl stuff (vikki's you're a girl to me!). And he let me borrow this cute pink and black belt.. aww, I loved it! Eventually, Brian's mom stopped by to drop Brian off, making sure he would be okay.. told us to keep an eye on him.. not to lose him (as if we would!) and etc.. and then we waited for my father and sister, who came later. We all hopped in the car, and I was really hyper! Eva was telling Brian how cute he was, and how she forgot how cool he was (they haven't hung out in a while) and stuff like that.. and after a while in the car, playing music, holding hands, acting stupid, we got there. My dad didn't feel like driving back home, so he just turned the car off and slept. We were so lucky, when we got there, Lithium had just started playing, and that was the band Vikki had wanted to see, because the bassist is in some classes of his, and he really liked him. n.n They were pretty good, but after them, Unwanted Superheros came on.. I loved them so much! The lead singer, who I knew in like, 8th grade, sounded like an English version of Kyo from Dir en grey!! I was obsessed, so after they were done, I tackled/hugged him, you know, fun stuff. It was fun, acting wild with my friends.. it took some warming up to get in the mood, but after that, it was awesome. This one girl I don't like from school gave me dirty looks when I was with Brian.. then when I passed her, she barked at me. What does that mean? @_@ I was confused. Well, after a few more bands started playing, we met these cool guys, one went to Flanagan(vikki's school), the other to BCC(Broward Community College) and we talked to them a while. they were kick ass. Then one left, so yeah.. we went outside. The walls of the building were pretty climbable, so me and Brian climbed up to one of the rooftops. It was funny, throwing off random clothings to make them think we were doing something. We talked a while up there, then I gave him a kiss and hopped off. Climbed too, didn't want to kill myself. Then we just hung out in general.. talked to Brian, but seemed kinda distant.. all I could think about was him. I hadn't seen him, besides yesterday in two weeks. He asked me what I was thinking about, but how could I explain it to him? Eva and Brian called Micheal Bugter, and Brian decided he wanted to go over to his house tomorrow. NO JEALOUSY. :[ Yeah, I just wanted to see him again. After a while, sometime into the night, we woke up my dad, and left. While in the car, I took out a piece of paper and pen, and wrote to Brian "Yo. I want you madly" or something. I guess he understood, because he gave me a look. I know he knows I want him back. And Eva then tried to read it.. so he said "This message will explode in 3.. 2.. 1.." then stuck it in his mouth. And ate it. o_o It wasn't THAT secret. Lol. Well, we dropped him off at home, kissed again, and then took Vikki home. Which, I left my staying over stuff there (which was in my school backpack). I would get it tomorrow.
Monday was boring, watched Eva talked to Micheal who was hanging with Brian with intense jealousy. Played some games, didn't do homework. Never got my backpack. So I'd get it in the morning before school. (No school today).
Tuesday, didn't feel like getting my backpack, so I just didn't go to school. Talked to Seph, who had been trying to reach me.. and was enlightened, which I won't go into detail about. Found how what happened while I was gone, and wasn't surprised, Gina started hating me again for something, but it got cleared up before I even got back. I'm glad we're friends. I was gonna call Seph, but his brother and sister.. Grr. Went to sleep after talking to Brian, he talked a lot about Virginia. He misses being her friend. Oh well, he screwed her over. I wonder why. Haven't talked to him since.
Wednesday, was yesterday. Went to school, got my backpack from Vikki's house in the morning. Which I accidentally took my Dad's cell phone to school. I had slipped it in my jacket pocket when I called Vikki to tell him to open the door. I know he gets lots of business calls, so I called my mom to tellher to tell him I have it when he got back home. She didn't. Oh well. My teacher was pissed I didn't have this poster I was supposed to do, but I didn't want to, and it was for extra anyway. Did more makeup work.. talked to Matt, yay, he missed me and gave me a hug when I got back. Stayed after to audition for the tech support with Carina. Were there until like 4, then started walking to the nearest bus stop (Carina's mom wouldn't come get us ._. So here comes the few miles walk to a bus stop) But, my dad was actually home, because I called my house, and he said he'd come get us, whereever we were. I was on some street.. lol. He was mad at first about the cell phone, but that lasted like 5 minutes. So after we dropped Carina off, we went to Walmart to get some stuff for the store thingie he's opening up in Dolphin Mall. Which I get to work on weekends starting .. whenever I want. o.o Walmart never has pants I want, but I actually saw some that were cute, so I got those. Then we went to McDonalds and talked, then went home. Called a few friends, played games.. told Vikki to remind Brian about tomorrow after school (it's easy for him since they both go to Flanagan) and hope he goes. It's some band thing to raise money for a suicide line. I wanted to go to see Unwanted Superheros again!! They were gonna be there.. n.n www.ushrocks.com I wanted to see Brian.. so I hope he goes.! I went to sleep.. then Kristin called, and Eva threw the phone at my head and it hurt like hell! But I had missed her so much, so I was happy she called! I knew that Rachel drag queen was bad news, lol. Talked to her new boyfriend, and made sure he knew the rules for dating Kristin, then talked to Kris, who I missed a lot too! I can't wait to see them this summer!! Then, my dad kicked me off the phone because he had to call his girlfriend in Canada.. ._. So I got online. After a while, Brandon said I could call if I wanted to, so I got my dad's cell, and Actually got through to calling Seph, and we talked a while. It was fun, I was hyper so I talked a bunch. Seph wouldn't sing for me, so I was sad. He has the guitar game. Yay. I talked to Brandon too, so all was good. I love talking to Seph on the phone, he says the weirdest things. And he's hardly even quiet, so I don't get bored. n.n Well, then my phone died.. (Sorry Seph! x.x) So I figured, oh well, I'll go to bed. But Eva was doing homework, and begged me to help.. so I did a lot of her math for like, an hour, then got sleepy, and went to bed.
Today: My dad waked me up at 5, but I sonked out, and didn't get up. He figured I wasn't feeling well (untrue, I was just tired) so he left me be, so I missed school. x.x But when school lets out, I'm going to go to meet everyone at Flanagan, so it'll be fun. Well there, a real post! Who's proud of me? n.n
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[10 Feb 2004|07:25pm] |
Ooh.. things could be better. Although within 24 hours, Brian came back.. asking to go out on Valentines Day, stumbling over words like a nervous school boy.. saying if the date went well, maybe we could try things again.. and at the time, I was so happy, and I really wanted that. But after talking to a few of my friends.. thinking it over.. I'm not even going to go out with him this weekend. In fact, my date is a female. :] Who I'm very happy with.
I've figured.. since many of Brian's friends have turned on him lately, and he knows no matter what people say, I'll always be that comfort that never tells him off, always on his side. And I do care about him.. a lot but.. he's just taking advantage. I mean, for example.. if he has to go, he just says so, no buts, and hangs up. But if I have to go, he says shit like "No you don't.." or "But.. I wish you could just stay here forever.." or.. "Rhiannon, please don't leave me here all lonely.."
Tch. Everyone else hates him, and think I could do better. I just have to teach him.. and no way am I getting back with him. He taught me a lot.. made me happy, took away my problems.. but he did a lot of that as my friend, not my boyfriend. So we can just stay friends. I've missed school since Thursday.. but I'm going tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm trying out for a Midsummer's Night Dream. I hope I get a part. Carina's coming with me to try out. Things will get better. I'm already over this. :: Grin. ::
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[06 Feb 2004|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Smoke - Natalie Imbruglia |
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Just wanted to write out the lyrics of the song I was listening to..
Because I want to.
My lullaby
hung out to dry.
What's up with that?
It's over..
Where are you dad?
Mom's lookin` sad.
What's up with that?
It's dark in here..
Why bleeding is breathing.
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try bleeding is believing
I used to..
My mouth is dry
Forgot how to cry.
What's up with that?
You're hurting me..
I'm running fast
Can't hide the past.
What's up with that?
You're pushing me..
Why bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room.
Try bleeding is believing
I used to..
I used to..
Why bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room.
Try bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor.
I love this song. It's making all my confusion more vivid and clear.
And I'm starting to make everything public. Except old things, they stay friends only.
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[06 Feb 2004|02:29pm] |
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music |
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Smoke - Natalie Imbruglia |
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Yesterday Brian broke up with me. It's all I really have to say, from a person who never updates. And wow, it's a public entry for once too. It hurts, I guess. :: Shrug. ::
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[07 May 2003|08:58pm] |
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Well I deleted a few people off my already pretty small friends list, only because I never comment, they never comment, or rarely post, they deleted me or I just didn't want them on my friends list anymore. IF I deleted you and you want back.. as long as it's justified, then comment, you know. (Not that my journal's that interesting anyway.. >>) Well, ja`.
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[23 Apr 2003|02:55pm] |
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I really want a new layout.. completely different and everything. Can someone make me one please?.. I either want a JaeWon theme (with his look from Iyah) or a Yami no Matsuei.. if someone does.. <333!!! If you can, comment or IM me "Ethereal Chant" Thank you! I now have the pictures.. so please please somone give me help.
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[17 Jan 2003|11:47am] |
Friends only journal. You know what to do; comment, add me, I'll most likely add you back.
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